Adventures of a Sell-Out

Life. Quite literally the meaning of it is this: the general or universal condition of human existence. There are too many dictionary definitions to write them all here, which only goes to show that human kind cannot quite put their finger on what life really means.

Moving out on my own has got me thinking... Life. What does it all come down to? And of course, the first thing that comes to mind is the christianese answer, "It all comes down to Christ." And yes, this is very true, but what does that mean? What does it really mean? I have come to the conclusion that it means just that. Christ. That's all there is, and it's all that matters. Our lives on earth are futile. And I don't mean to say that nothing matters, and poo poo about how horrible life is. I just mean to point out that when everything is stripped away all we are left with is God. Everything earthly is temporary; only Christ is eternal. Even 'true love' is temporary.

This may sound like a very negative idea but it has opened my heart to a much deeper perspective of our existence. We are here to serve the Lord. That is all. We are here to worship him, be in relationship and do his will. Everything else that we experience on earth is just the frosting on the cake.

All my teenage years, I have aspired to finding 'the one'. Just the idea of loving another person so much is amazing to me and as a girl, I naturally have a hope for it to happen at any moment. This last week God has stripped all of those thoughts away from me. I still want to be married and have a family some day, but I realize the futility of it all now. It really doesn't matter who we marry, or what house we live in, or what clothes we wear, or what car we drive. It is all futile. All that matters is Christ.

The shift from finite to infinite thinking is incredible. All the drama that has you by the neck, all the stress that you are drowning in, and all the hopes and dreams that you fear you can never attain really don't matter. And it's... well, it's a strange feeling to realize this. I would think that it would make me freak out and feel like I am invisible. But instead it gives me an overwhelming peace that God is in control. It's just proof that he is true to his promise when he says that he will fill us with a peace that surpasses understanding.

So if everything finite is futile, then what's the point? Again, I say, "The point is Christ." Everything else that is in our lives (clothes, money, housing, nature, even love) they are all just a blessing that the Lord pours down on us because he loves us. But we can't let those blessings, or even the struggles for that matter, distract us from the reason we are here. Like Esther, we have been ordained for such a time as this, and God wants to do incredible things with us right where we are.

And just think how much easier it would be if we kept the focus on God. If all we do is look to God and follow his call, that purpose and all of those earthly blessings will just fall into place. Think about it, if we focus on finding our future spouse, our eyes are removed from God. But if we keep our focus on God, that person is still gonna be there in the right time, but we've wasted no time searching for something that wasn't there yet. We can apply this principle to anything in life, paying the bills, getting a car, going to college, starting a ministry, anything.

I'm going to be blunt for a moment. It's stupid. I am stupid, we are all stupid. Stupid to even consider looking to the world and filling ourselves with worry instead of looking to Christ and filling ourselves with peace, love, grace, mercy and so many other amazing things. But it just makes us human when we make this simple mistake. It seems like such an easy solution to switch our focus, but for some reason it is so hard. And the only one who can help us do it, is Christ. Again, it comes back to him. Do you all see the same pattern that I do? Christ.

"For to me to live is Christ, but to die is gain." Life = Christ. End of story.