Adventures of a Sell-Out

So... about my blog. I am the world's worst blogger. It has been much too long since my last entry so I thought I would post an update of all the happs and discoveries of my more recent adventures. I am now a student at Ecola Bible School and this is accompanied by aquiring a ridiculous amount of biblical knowledge. I have been learning in mass quantities since Monday morning, but ironically I am learning more outside of class than I am in it.

In class we are going through Romans with a professor that has five masters and an almost doctorate. Oh. My. Goodness. His sentences are so packed with info that with each new statement I have to throw the previous sentence out in order to have enough room to store all the large words in my brain. However, what I want to blog about is what God has been revealing directly to my heart. It's one of those topics that everyone has a different idea about and almost everyone oversteps and offends their own opinion about it. Today's topic of discussion is...: Christian Dating.

As a young woman I have dappled in and out of the world of relationships and it took that process to learn what I now know. God has been speaking to my heart about what a Godly relationsip looks like and how it is supposed to function in order to genuinely be founded in the Lord. So here it is.

We all know that marraige was designed to be a covenant. But what exactly does that entail? Most christians these days will tell you that it means not to have sex before marraige. And yes, I agree that there is definitely a physical aspect to the covenant but I believe that there is also more to it than just that. The way God designed marriage has two parts to it. The physical aspect, as mentioned above, and then the spiritual/emotional aspect. Both are part of the covenant between a married couple.

I know a lot of girls (myself included) that offend the latter of the two. When we are interested in a guy we get him alone and then pour out our hearts and soul to him... I am now a firm believer that this is a form of promiscuousness. It is immodest to share your entire heart with a member of the opposite gender that is not your spouse. From the surface this seems like an odd belief but look at this way:

The first aspect of the marraige covenant is the physical part. It is considered highly immodest to physically reveal all of that part of you. So if the second aspect is spiritual shouldn't it also be considered immodest to reveal all of the spiritual part of you? I am not suggesting that we cannot share any of our hearts with anyone until we are married, just the same way that I am not suggesting that we must cover up our entire bodies. We are permitted to show our face, our arms, and our legs (hopefully the lower half). In the same way I would not think it immodest to reveal parts of your heart to someone, but to spill out everything you are is not only promiscuous, but dangerous. Scripture tells us that above ALL else, we must guard our heart for it the wellspring of life. Sharing it completely with another person is flat out putting our hearts, and the essence of who we are, on the line.

Along with this, I also fully believe that dating is a thing of the world. When God created marraige His people didn't 'date'. And if it is a thing of the world, how can you wholly honor God through it? With this I conclude that there must be another way to go about it. Unfortunately, the bible doesn't say anything about dating or courting so I am relying on what I believe that Holy Spirit is teaching me. I think that as humans we get waaaaaay to wrapped up in the culture of dating, even within the church. I think there is a way to go about relationships that is much more honoring to the Lord. I am still discovering what exactly that entails but it's more along the lines of courting. It involves more than just the two of interest, i.e. the family and friends. It is a relationship where each person has a system of accountability, and they don't go off alone.. ever. Dates are permissible but in a public location. I think that this system really tests the strength of the relationship and it really reveals the foundation that the couple is basing the relationship on. It should be completely and wholly grounded in the Lord.

Beyond this, I would also suggest that you should not begin a courtship unless you know, through prayer, conviction, and discernment, that that person is the person that you want, and are meant, to spend the rest of your life with. Dancing through relationships directly offends the covenant that God created those relationships to be like. Matters of the heart are a serious thing. God dwells within our hearts and he uses them to speak to us, stretch us, and draw us closer to him. Our hearts are full of life threatening importance and when we disrupt the balance of that, it can be spiritually fatal. When we wait to share that with the one person that we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is created by God for us and intended to be with us, we can insure that they were specifically created by our Loving Father to know how to handle and respect who we are at the core of who we were created to be. Sounds like a way better package than 'dating' to me.

I also believe that basically all thigns PDA are in offense to the covenant of marriage. Including kissing. I myself have recently made a commitment to myself and to God, not to kiss another man until my wedding day. I don't deny that this will be a torturously hard thing to accomplish but what a foundation, what a testimony, and what a way to strengthen the relationship in the Lord. If you can have a relationship that functions in that way and still know that you don't want one more moment without that person by your side, thn you've got a way better shot of making that relationship last. After learning this, I don't see why anyone would ever want to settle for anything less. I know that all of us have a greater hope about our future spouse than what we settle for in 'dating' relationships. God put those desires in you for a reason. Perhaps to show you what a relationship can really be like and the amazing things that he has waiting for you if you seek to honor him through your relationships. Not just honoring him in your relationships but through your relationships. In other words, it's not just doing the bare minimum of of making sure that the relationship doesn't break the rules, but using the relationship as a tool to be a team that has greater potential to bring honor to the name of the Lord. That's a powerful thing.

So that basically wraps up what God has been teaching me. I hope that reading it was as beneficial to you as it has been to me learning it. Signing out, Lauren.