Adventures of a Sell-Out

Life. Quite literally the meaning of it is this: the general or universal condition of human existence. There are too many dictionary definitions to write them all here, which only goes to show that human kind cannot quite put their finger on what life really means.

Moving out on my own has got me thinking... Life. What does it all come down to? And of course, the first thing that comes to mind is the christianese answer, "It all comes down to Christ." And yes, this is very true, but what does that mean? What does it really mean? I have come to the conclusion that it means just that. Christ. That's all there is, and it's all that matters. Our lives on earth are futile. And I don't mean to say that nothing matters, and poo poo about how horrible life is. I just mean to point out that when everything is stripped away all we are left with is God. Everything earthly is temporary; only Christ is eternal. Even 'true love' is temporary.

This may sound like a very negative idea but it has opened my heart to a much deeper perspective of our existence. We are here to serve the Lord. That is all. We are here to worship him, be in relationship and do his will. Everything else that we experience on earth is just the frosting on the cake.

All my teenage years, I have aspired to finding 'the one'. Just the idea of loving another person so much is amazing to me and as a girl, I naturally have a hope for it to happen at any moment. This last week God has stripped all of those thoughts away from me. I still want to be married and have a family some day, but I realize the futility of it all now. It really doesn't matter who we marry, or what house we live in, or what clothes we wear, or what car we drive. It is all futile. All that matters is Christ.

The shift from finite to infinite thinking is incredible. All the drama that has you by the neck, all the stress that you are drowning in, and all the hopes and dreams that you fear you can never attain really don't matter. And it's... well, it's a strange feeling to realize this. I would think that it would make me freak out and feel like I am invisible. But instead it gives me an overwhelming peace that God is in control. It's just proof that he is true to his promise when he says that he will fill us with a peace that surpasses understanding.

So if everything finite is futile, then what's the point? Again, I say, "The point is Christ." Everything else that is in our lives (clothes, money, housing, nature, even love) they are all just a blessing that the Lord pours down on us because he loves us. But we can't let those blessings, or even the struggles for that matter, distract us from the reason we are here. Like Esther, we have been ordained for such a time as this, and God wants to do incredible things with us right where we are.

And just think how much easier it would be if we kept the focus on God. If all we do is look to God and follow his call, that purpose and all of those earthly blessings will just fall into place. Think about it, if we focus on finding our future spouse, our eyes are removed from God. But if we keep our focus on God, that person is still gonna be there in the right time, but we've wasted no time searching for something that wasn't there yet. We can apply this principle to anything in life, paying the bills, getting a car, going to college, starting a ministry, anything.

I'm going to be blunt for a moment. It's stupid. I am stupid, we are all stupid. Stupid to even consider looking to the world and filling ourselves with worry instead of looking to Christ and filling ourselves with peace, love, grace, mercy and so many other amazing things. But it just makes us human when we make this simple mistake. It seems like such an easy solution to switch our focus, but for some reason it is so hard. And the only one who can help us do it, is Christ. Again, it comes back to him. Do you all see the same pattern that I do? Christ.

"For to me to live is Christ, but to die is gain." Life = Christ. End of story.

The past two days have definitely been a time of firsts. And that falls directly in line with what I had expected; that everything would be different and new and that my life would be completely altered. And while that is all true, I am coming to realize that life and people are still the same. There are still the uncomfortable political conversations, the people who simply refuse to even look at you even before they meet you, the awkward first time at a new chruch, and the feeling of second thoughts. I have no regrets and I am prepared for the difficulties of adjustment that lie ahead, what makes me think twice me is that I see people who are on a different page. People who question why God has them in this place. And all I can say about that is this:

Life. Is. Hard.

As humans, we simply can't avoid that. It is hard, and it often just outright sucks. And when we reach the point of despair, all we are left with is God. I think that we tend to forget exactly what it means to be left with God. We talk about how amazing God is, and how powerful and wonderful and loving and compassionate he is... We describe God with all of these qualities and more. In fact, we describe him as so great that we often just leave it at at indescribable. We have no words to compare with his awesome ways. And yet, when we come to a point when all we have is him, we diminish him to something so small. When really, just to have God is an incredible thing and more than enough for us. Everything else is mere blessing. When we are pushed out of our comfort zone, God is simply preparing us for a mountain of blessings that he wants to pour on us. But first he has to stretch us so that we aren't overwhelmed. He needs us to grow so that he can use us in the mighty ways that he has planned and set aside for our lives.

When we are forced to adjust to that growth, it can stretch us out pretty thin... And as a result, we feel really tiny. But we just have to remember that God is big. Bigger then our pain, discomforts, and second thoughts. He has led to us to where we are for a reason, and he wants to use each of us right where we are. Even if it's not comfortable. I mean, Jesus most certainly wasn't comfortable when they were beating him, pulling out his beard, and nailing him to the cross. But God used him to save the world. God can use us most when we are willing to step out of our zone, walk in faith, and remember his sovereignty. And yes, it sucks. But God never said that it would be easy. However, he did say that he would carry us through it with a peace that surpasses understanding.

However, we can't just take these things from God. He wants something in return. He longs for a relationship with us, and relationships go both ways. He wants to give us peace, but he also wants us to give him our lives. He asks us to die to self every single day, and it's hard but if we can learn to do that he will replace our lives with the incredible adventure that is a life following his footsteps. He is a mighty and loving Father who has incredible things in store for his children. Walk in that in complete faith, and you will be a person who truely has no regrets and is a magnet to other people.

On a more random note... My first Cannon Beach Sunset!!!!!!!







For more pics just look on my facebook. :)

You may ask, "Why start a blog?" Well... A few friends have asked me to start one so that they can keep up on all my adventures in Cannon Beach. I thought it didn't seem like too bad of an idea and here we are.

You may also ask, "Why title it 'Adventures of a sell out'?" Well... That's what this post is about: selling out.

Last night I was contimplating exactly what is means to be sold out for something. When you are sold out of something, it means that you don't have any of that particular item left. So... I came to the conclusion that a sell-out, is sold out of themselves. That led me to a wonderful reminder that I am sold out because I have been bought with a price: the blood of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. He bought all of me with his life, so now my life belongs to him.

I have also been thinking a lot about the Spirit and how crazy it is that it dwells inside us. This last weekend was the 3rd annual Prepare the Way Christian Youth Leadership Summit. I was amazingly blessed to be a part of coordinating it, and speaking at it. It was a phenomenal time of worship, study, and fellowship. At the Elliot concert on Friday night, God moved in absolutely incredible ways! Walls were coming down, chains were breaking loose, and captives were being set free. It was such a powerful night that in all my existence I will never be able to forget. So I was thinking while lying in bed, as I tend to do, and I asked myself, "What was it about that night that made God and his movement so prevelant?" Then I realized that the reason that night was so powerful is because we were all in the Spirit! And of course, that got me thinking even more. God sent us his spirit when he took Jesus back to heaven after being raised from the dead. Scripture continually tells that the Spirit of God will be with us, and guard our hearts and minds, and so so many other promises dealing with the Spirit. I 100% believe that we are designed to live within the Spirit on a continual basis. If we could learn how to do that, the power of Christ would be unleashed, like it was Friday night, on a daily basis. God longs for us to constantly thrive within his spirit and allow us to witness and be a part of the supernatural taking place in our lives EVERY SINGLE DAY! Wow!

This is what can happen when we completely sell out for Jesus Christ. His resurrection power, the power that brought life where death had previously reigned, will be unleashed in us on a daily basis. I think I'll take stock in that.

In accordance with the event of my moving to Cannon Beach, a lot of people have been asking me what I want to do after bible school and who I want to be. I have come to the conclusion that all I want to do is sell out, and all I want to be is sold out. "For to me, to live is Christ, but to die is gain." ~My Man Paul.